The Senate procedural vote that went through this week and the events of last week have me thinking that women’s pain doesn’t matter to anyone who could stop it. Women and survivors are going to have to do the work again of securing our own safety and autonomy.


— K.C.

I think that Ford probably was abused at some point when she was young, however I don't believe Kavanaugh was ever involved in anyway. With that said, I also think that Kavanaugh should recuse himself. Not for any of Ford’s or anyone's else’s allegations, but everything that he and his family has had to endure, it could maybe have impact on a future similar case. Say a family member of Ford’s or any of the left’s that tried to crucify him had to appear in front of him? Would he be fair? Maybe? Maybe not? It shouldn’t even be a question in anybody’s mind. So much division. So sad.


— Megan Hicks

The judge was not forthcoming. He was highly political. He was emotional and rude. Not good traits for a judge. I’m 78 years old now, but when I was about 40 and working at a private Catholic college as a salaried administrator, the vice president who hired me showed up one night at my apartment, carrying his overnight bag. He was married; I had known him for 8 years and sat through many committee meetings and small plane flights with him and presidents and other vice presidents. I stood by the door and told him “you can't stay, I’ll lose my job, maybe you’ll lose your job.” He left. There were no repercussions. I don't remember if I told anyone at the time.


— Judy K., 78

Over the past few years, there have been many instances in my past that I have realized can and should be considered cases of sexual assault and harassment and this has been difficult to come to terms with. I have found a healthy way to move forward and feel less like it is solely my fault, through the public testimonies of others who have been more courageous than I. That has been both challenging and comforting. I have moved on from those experiences and now live a mostly happy, healthy life with meaningful relationships with others. Very recently, an individual from college reached out to me saying that watching the Kavanaugh hearing encouraged him to reach out to me. He proceeded to give a very descriptive instance of when he clearly acted inappropriately with me, and for that, he was apologetic. While I appreciate the apology, it brought back some unpleasant memories and made me wonder what he was apologizing for. Because he was genuinely sorry and embarrassed? Or because he wanted his own peace of mind?


— Anonymous, 29

Judge Kavanaugh was “well qualified” (American Bar Association) and on his way to confirmation. Then, out of left field, an over-aged Democrat senator hauls out a 30-year-old memory of the judge doing stupid sort-of sexual stuff. The rest of the Democrats and much of the media pounce and all of a sudden this fine man was vilified. To me it seems a really low way Democrats have chosen to do a character assassination. Then the accuser has major memory lapses. But the political party that doesn’t want a potential 5-4 conservative-liberal court to rule against its desires continues to absolute crush this man’s reputation, ignoring his two young kids. That seems deplorable.


— Ted Wight, Belltown

Upsetting as the Kavanaugh saga is, I’ve tried to take the long view and accept that the arc of justice is long but unstoppable. I see the Kavanaugh hearings and all that surrounds them as a huge development in the women’s rights movement, much bigger even than the reckoning that began with Harvey Weinstein. And what is that development? Millions of men have been educated in the most powerful of forums that yes, millions of girls and women are in fact treated as if their bodies are somebody else’s property, and they carry the scars to prove it. A critical mass of men are learning that this is a big problem and their gender is responsible. Finally, and most importantly, women are finally taking on a major obstacle in the long slog to equality: The usually subtle but lingering notion — rooted in the days of women as property — that a man is entitled to a woman’s body.


— Hal Spencer, Olympia

What I did hear brought up old scars I thought were fully healed. I brought it up to my therapist. She understood that a lot of people like me were feeling old scars open. Thanks to that talk with my therapist I found the courage to talk to my mother about my past experiences. I hope this will help all sexual assault and rape victims feel like they will get justice. If Kavanaugh is found guilty because of the court hearing, that will give me confidence in the justice system.


— Anonymous

As a female survivor I instinctively knew that she was telling the truth. One of many things that stood out to me was the cadence in her breathing. Rapid, slow, holding breath etc. ... It is normal and expected that a trauma victim will forget some details.


— Mary M.

I was diagnosed with PTSD last year, triggered by a sexual assault that happened to me almost 10 years ago. The feelings of anxiousness and sadness, as well as memories I wish I could forget, kind of come up when they want. These things definitely have come up more frequently and to an even greater degree since the Me Too movement began, and the Kavanaugh case has brought up all of this as well.


— Anonymous, 26

I've discussed the case extensively with only close family so far and they are all in agreement. My friends believe Dr. Ford as well. Going forward, I think the hearings will only deepen the partisan divide in this country. It seems to me that gender will define our politics as much as race and class as fewer of our elected officials concern themselves with the dignity of their constituents. I do hope that Dr. Ford's testimony encourages future generations to set a new cultural norm of treating women's stories with the seriousness they deserve.


— Tim Gruver

I think that we carry with us a sense of shame and guilt. To know that I am not the only one to feel this way has helped me finally tell my story after 30 years. I watched the hearings and much of the other coverage dealing with this topic and it has affected me more than I expected. Like most I would always tell myself that it wasn't that bad, worse has happened to others, I wasn't “raped,” no one will believe me, I shouldn't have put myself in that position, etc. I have only shared my full story with one person, my husband. I have shared that “something” happened with my children and closest friends. Even today 30 years later I still feel guilty and ashamed that I let it happen. I could only cry while I listened to Dr. Ford tell her story because it is so similar to mine. Then when Kavanaugh testified I was left feeling ashamed all over again.


— Stacy Wilson, 49

I listened to Dr. Ford’s statement while on a bus. I wept. Her statement was so heartfelt and gave voice to what so many of us have experienced.


— Janice T., Everett

I would like to take the optimistic approach and say that women’s rights are being advanced, but it feels as though progress is a pendulum that swings back and forth. Yes, we are able to have a national conversation, which is progress. But there are not concrete enough steps being taken to follow through in these hearings.


— Kaitlyn Witman, 28

It also feels dangerous that someone who has been so dismissive of sexual assault and so blatantly partisan would have so much impact on this nation’s future and so strongly influence our policies. The only thing that brings me some hope is that we have survived so far with Clarence Thomas on the court despite Anita Hill’s testimony. Personally, I have had an ex-boyfriend threaten to electrocute me, and have had to talk to the high school cops about a boy in school who explained in detail to another classmate how he wanted to [expletive] me so hard that my organs burst and I began vomiting blood. I was stalked by another boy I barely knew, and he proclaimed to everyone that he was in love with me. Despite all of that, I consider myself lucky. I was never physically harmed or assaulted, and I know many young girls who went through much worse. It seemed like every girl had a story to tell.


— Anonymous

I’m feeling sad and hopeless and despair about the incredibly, insufferable men that exist in this world. I’m exhausted by men that don't seem to care.


— Kelsey M.

I and my friends are filled with absolute rage. We are disgusted to the core by Brett and his supporters. It is clear by this, the tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of untested rape kits around the country, by how sexual assault seems to be the only crime where the victim is presumed a liar or to have “asked for it” before any investigation (and even after), that protecting men is more important than seeking justice for their victims by the men and women on the right. I hope we unilaterally purge these people from any position of power or influence where victims of assault turn to when they seek due process.


— Luz Garcia

I’ve been thinking and talking about how important positive, enthusiastic consent is, how rarely it’s taught across our nation, and how vital it is to things beyond sex – our government, after all, derives its legitimacy from “the consent of the governed” – and I hear few people talking about how to pursue a government of maximum consent. I’m angry, and feeling less and less like this government respects or represents me. I believe this confirmation will make it harder, throughout the court system, to prosecute sexual assault, and will embolden assaulters. More deeply hurt people in my life will drain my time, and mean more time will be spent healing than doing all the other awesome things we want to do in life.


— Peter Wallis, Seattle

I marched in the 1989 March for Women’s Lives, in Washington, D.C., protesting anti-abortion stances. I also volunteered for a time with NARAL-NH to further the rights of pro-choice women and men. It doesn’t affect my own health anymore, as I am past the point of having to worry about pregnancy. However, my 24-year-old niece could well be affected if the court reverses Roe. It angers me that we still have to fight for a basic right.


— Julie, 53, Vancouver

Liberal minds saw a traumatized victim being told by the right to be quiet whereas conservative minds saw a witch hunt and an innocent man being drug through the mud. These allegations are quite literally impossible to prove or disprove given the significant lack of evidence or witness corroboration. We cannot deviate from being truth seekers. I have a good friend who was a victim of sexual assault and works with the Washington Legislature on a task force for moving more quickly through the backlog of rape kits; I officiated her wedding. She is unable to fathom the possibility that the accusation is anything other than the truth. It breaks my heart that this very intelligent women has such a blind spot for logical deduction in this instance. The disgusting actions of Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby cannot be extrapolated across the population.


— Zack, Kent

I’m absolutely enraged. As a psychotherapist, it’s been a tough couple of weeks for several of my clients. Once again, women’s voices are not being listened to and are being discredited, and by women. We have women willing to let him be there and not stand behind our experiences. If he had come out and said “I drank a lot, I probably blacked out, but I'm sorry, I'm reformed,” I would have a lot more respect for him. But that was just vehement denial. It was awful. My daughter and I have had so many talks. My clients and I have had so many talks.


— Tana Anderson, 55, Samammish

As somebody who has day-to-day experiences of sexual harassment in my line of work, and as a sexual assault survivor, I had hoped to see some sort of shift in people of power. I don’t know why, when power is so grossly being used, I expected a difference, but I was hopeful. So I feel profoundly disappointed. I hope I wake up tomorrow and feel more hopeful, but in this moment, it’s pure rage.


— Anonymous, 30, Seattle

Seeing this whole process just tells me we need a better system of due process for both victims and the accused. It’s clear that people on both sides of the firestorm think that extending the presumption of innocence to one side means taking it away from the other. When I was a kid, I was raped repeatedly by my babysitter, every weekend, for a year. As a man, I was also blamed and shut down a bit when I brought it up with my father. My mom believed me, but it was too late to really do anything about it, and I dealt with it on my own through counseling and taking hallucinogens with my friends. I personally think there is a point where you have to move on, and get over it. No amount of criminal litigation will actually fix it. On the other hand, seeing our system continue to push a bias that denies victims the opportunity to safely and effectively confront rapist just disgusts me. While I don't think Kavanaugh is fit to sit on the Supreme Court, I agree with the notion that his juvenile offenses are not relevant to who he is today. I don't believe in permanent records for juvenile offenders, even rapists and murders. What I don't agree with is not actively launching an investigation into what he did when he was in college. He is a different person now, but lying under oath is not an acceptable behavior from a judge.


— Matt

When Trump says, “If the incident was really so bad, I’m sure there would have been a police report,” I want to scream my story at the top of my lungs on a busy street, I want to write it in the sky, I want to broadcast it on the radio, #WhyIDidntReport. I thought I had fully recovered from these events. Almost all of the secondary and tertiary ripples of these traumas seemed to have receded to invisibility. Yet these past two weeks, I have had many tearful and frustrated conversations with my older sister, much more honest than I have ever been with her about any of these experiences, which has been somewhat cathartic, but still falls short of a true release of the bubbling pressure of fury, dismay, helplessness that I feel pushing on my head and my heart and stomach.


— Alison

Recently I’ve found myself having nightmares again, of what happened to me, and what could happen to me. Even more than that, I find that I struggle to feel completely safe around men. I think women, like myself, are exhausted. But I believe we are also fired up. Kavanaugh’s confirmation would have a great lasting impact in many realms as his vote will count on issues of race, gender and discrimination. His clear partisan testimony indicates he will sway many decisions. But installing another leader accused of sexual assault also doesn't come as a shock. He isn't the first and he wont be the last unfortunately. In the era of #metoo and 24/7 news coverage it will have an effect, though. It will continue to slowly open the door for conversations. It will further activate young people like myself to go out and vote. It won't change overnight, but it will happen. I have been feeling very hopeless lately but I am holding on to the fact that slowly but surely things will continue to change. This confirmation will have a significant impact on my life, just like with any other leader in our government who gets voted in has impacted me. It will always remind me of what happened to me, and what happened to many of the people around me. It will bring more painful, divisive conversations between myself and the people who don't believe victims. It will foster further mistrust in our leaders in Congress. But I believe we have to take heart.


— Kay

How do I expect my life to change? Besides being a more active activist, I am afraid that my teen children’s lives will suffer due to restricted access to abortion, overturning Obamacare, civil liberties and other issues that my generation has come to take for granted. I have a family member who is a member of the LGBTQ community. I have friends who live in fear of being deported. My sister has Down dyndrome and relies on the ADA. We are a family of immigrants.


— Deborah Johnson

I am a 71-year-old gentleman who was single at the time of the “revolution,” when ladies were absolutely out of control. I was an employed single guy hounddog of decent looks for 15 years. Mostly fun times for everybody, but there were casualties. Now my daughter and her friends are ready to skin Kavanaugh alive. I guess she has not been told of the old rape charge against her father and she cannot project this experience onto my son-in-law or grandsons. She and I need to talk. “They” - these “new feminists” - are creating a scary environment for my grandchildren to grow up in, and I think that is sad. A very small number or loud screaming females are trying to dictate the moral mores of the future. I am so glad I am not in that picture anymore.


— Anonymous, 71

I have spent what seems like endless hours doing pastoral counseling with survivors, male and female, who are suffering, I’m working on a web page that will provide more spiritual resources for survivors. I'm turning my anger into energy for work because I can’t tolerate feeling helpless.


— Rabbi Ruth Adar

As a woman, and especially as a woman of color, society constantly sends the message that I matter less than men, if I matter at all. I’m not surprised he was confirmed, and I appreciate Dr. Ford for coming forward, but mostly I’m concerned for the ways that Kavanaugh’s confirmation will negatively impact women's rights for decades to come and how it will undo the progress we have made.


— Anonymous, 26, Tacoma

At many levels, prior to Dr. Blasey Ford’s allegations, I was rather ambivalent about Kavanaugh’s appointment: I don't agree with many of his judicial opinions (his views on rights for LGBTQ+ people, access to abortion, presidential power), but at some level we expect Republican presidents to appoint conservative judges and Democratic presidents to appoint liberal ones. So in that sense, it was “nothing to see here, move on with life.” And then everything happened. The most concerning part of the entire proceedings to me was that so few of the senators entered the hearing willing to hear anything. On the day after the 2016 election, one of my coworkers said to me, “The only way I can rationalize this is that America really hates women that much.” Hyperbolic, perhaps, but once again, it seems like that's all too true.


— Anonymous, 25

I was sexually assaulted five and a half years ago -- when I was 41 -- by someone I knew through a social community. We'd seen each other a handful of times outside of that community. He used a lot of pot for pain management. I expressed curiosity because I had never used it. He offered to bring some over to my house. Having not ever used pot before, I consumed well more than I should have and I got very high. He proceeded to have sex with me for several hours. (We had never been intimate before.) I went along with it because I didn't have any power to stop it. Being so high, I was pretty numb to what was happening. This was also the reason why I never came forward. I work in public education and did not want to jeopardize my job for having done something (at the time) illegal. I'm devastated and heartbroken on today’s vote. I'm fearful for what comes.


— Anonymous

As a victim of sexual assault, I have been struggling with the Kavanaugh situation a lot. The dark tendrils of this have wrapped themselves around my heart and mind since the allegations came out. Wrestling with them could be a full-time job and I don't have much time or mental space as a grad student, part-time teacher, and property manager. This has left me oscillating pretty wildly between compartmentalizing well enough to get my jobs done and being triggered by conversations, news updates, and Facebook posts from friends and family. I do not let myself cry often. I have cried more in the last few weeks than I had in the previous few years. I argued with myself about whether or not to listen to the proceedings. In the end, I decided I needed to listen. It would be painful. I would undoubtedly cry. But Dr. Ford was being brave and courageous, and the least I could do was listen to her testimony.


— Rebecca